Note: The older the entry, the unlikelier outside links are to work.

Scary stuff this Halloween. Scary in the sense that here in Finland nobody celebrates the event and thus there are no good parties to attend. Just to cheer you up, here is a little Halloween style greeting to you all. Check out the rest of the clips on the site too, some of them are quite good. For example, this clip is fantastic.

While the western world is still contemplating whether to attack Iraq or not, and while the U.S. is wondering whether they really did hit their target or not, lots of people seem to be wondering why Arab terrorists are so willing to commit suicide?

Let's see if we can clear this up for you a bit:

No premarital sex. No booze. No bars. No television. No radio. No Internet. No music. No organized sports, stadiums or tailgate parties. Actually, no tailgates. No Hooters. No meat from a pig. Sand everywhere and not a dune buggy in sight. Ever try to fish at an oasis? Rags for clothes and hats. Eating only with your right hand cause you wipe your ass only with your left (Corn on the cob's gotta be a problem! Like life isn't complicated enough already). Constant wailing from the guy next door because he is sick and no doctors. You can't shave. You can't shower (Sort of makes that left hand thing kind of important huh?). Bar-B-Q donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else.

All this and you're taught that when you die it all gets better! Geeez, who the hell wouldn't go for it?

Maybe this is the solution.

Many people have fears about their future in-laws when they are about the get married. But what would you recommend to somebody who sends you a letter like this:

Dear Tero,
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door.... There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test. Tero, should I tell my fiancee what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Well, of course our soon-to-be-unhappily-married fellow in the above example is somewhat of a moron (synonym for a man? Ladies?), but now it's time to see whether you are an idiot or not, for only an idiot would open this link. You have been warned. Also, here are some idiotic driving instructions for us all, which I actually posted some time back already, so don't even mention it.

Hey, this "bad" and "worst" thing could become something Kekkuli could be known for. Since you can read and hear all the happy and cheery stuff happening around the world from the news, it would be good to have a place where you could come to really see how bad things can get.
Anyway, today's contribution comes from a pair of Norwegians I met on my travels through Russia, Mongolia and China last month. They decided to buy some horses in Mongolia and all hell broke loose. Read it yourself. It's so bad it's funny. I've been promised pictures later on.

Staying a while longer on the topic of bad jobs, could you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics?

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is? Give up yet? Well, it is none other than the 535 members of the United States Congress. Hmm, perhaps even I could get a job there then...

On the other hand, being the photographer for this lovely and meaningful site can't be such a blast either, unless ofcourse you are seriously into "monkey business" or just seriously deranged. Check it out girls! If I told you I received the link to this site from a Canadian, would you be surprised? I wasn't. Gross out.

I love this one: Dance like it hurts. Love like you need the money. Work when people are watching.

The website of main Finnish newspaper, Helsingin Sanomat, has a very nice section with photographs taken around the world. Although some of the pictures need the Finnish explanations, most of them can be enjoyed without knowing exactly what's going on. For example, you can be pretty sure this should be quite painful. And you would think this guy is a new supervillain off to fight Spiderman, but is actually just a Japanese 1500-meter runner. And this one's just plain cool:

Although the bad week Jani mentioned might have come to and end, the bad news have not. I just received news that an old friend of mine, a German girl I knew in College, is among the missing persons in Bali. It's crazy how these events around the world seem somehow so distant until they sort of hit you right in the face. We live in times of uncertainty where one doesn't know whether to still save and invest for the future, or just take the money (or whatever you have at hand) and run. Should we live every day as it was our last, in case we are bombed tomorrow, or should we keep on living as we have. That is a dilemma that we all should ask ourselves, if you haven't done so already years ago. I for one try to mix these two as well as possible, working for some time, travelling in between and what is most important, keeping in touch with all the people who are important. Please realize now, before it's too late, who those important people are to you and get in touch with them now. Not tomorrow. The cost of a phone call in todays world is minimal, not to mention the cost of an email. Postcards are nice too, and very highly appreciated by most in todays high-tech world. Ask yourself if it makes you happy if you receive a call or even some mail from a long-lost friend? If the answer is yes, then take into account that other people might feel the same way if you took some action. Go for it.

So, speaking of travel, I am currently in Kampala, the capital of Uganda. Things are hectic here, but fun. People are very friendly and even the thugs who take your money smile. After a discussion with a local teacher, I came across a beautiful photographic collection of body ornaments by National Geographic. Take a look. Somehow I also came up across this page, which I agree is not so ornamental. A bit fishy one could say... left me feeling slightly overdressed really.

Looks like this became the official "bad week" on Kekkuli. Bad jobs last time, now bad comics...
This list really owes up to the title "bad comics". If you can find any worse somewhere I demand that you send a link to me. I browsed through many of them until I came across these Arnold comics and I couldn't take it anymore. If you don't believe me, just check this example, which is actually above-average.

It was a pretty bad week in Finland overall as well: 60 000 dead foxes from food poisoning (accidental at least), 7 people dead and about 80 injured in a mall blast by some young depressed chemistry student (how can you be a chemistry student and not feel depressed about your life?) and the death of the inventor of HK blöö (ask your Finnish friend about that). Add to that the sniper in Washington, the bombs in Bali and the attack on the French oil tanker and the picture starts to get pretty bleak. Luckily we have Arnold comics to cheer us up. No, seriously: if you're feeling down because of what's happening in the world, DON'T look at those comics, they'll finally throw you over the edge. I'm very serious.

This is another shot of a bad job that circulated around awhile back, proven now conclusively (and with a reference to the classic 60's Batman movie to boot!) to be fake. On the other hand, not all strange pictures of sharks are necessarily fake.

First off, I'm not planning on overwhelming this page with these ad banners, but during this month AllPosters.com is offering free shipping if you buy $35 worth of posters. I know I hate shipping costs, so in case someone out there does as well but still wanted to get all those Britney Spears -posters (Britney fans are a core component of our readerbase), then this month is your chance.

I mentioned some time ago that Kekkuli has been hit by some interesting search queries lately. Here is a collection of some of the best:

how to earn $100000000 in a month (Is there actually someone out there who doesn't get enough of these offers via email, but actually goes out of his way to get scammed?)

http://www.kekkuli.com/ (Dude, how about typing that into the address bar directly rather than searching for it?)

jani riihilahti (Some of you might remember a post I did on Aki Riihilahti, the intellectual footballer. I wonder what this long-forgotten relative of his does?)

cache:pvairdofbpmc:www.kekkuli.com/ pentagon really an airplane (Yes, that cache-thing in the beginning is really going to help this search.)

drem shower 40 (Could somebody help me out with this one?)

amusing funny bad pictures of the british royal family queen of (...)

You get the picture. Many of the searches are actually for our free email-forwarding service, which has become quite popular recently. Well, compared to the forum at least...
But rather than be at the mercy of me handing out scraps every six months or so, you can check out yourself what kind of searches people are doing on Metacrawler.com. If you needed any more proof that, as a whole, mankind is moronic, this is it. How many hits do you think you can get with the search query "food"?

It has been a while since I have put up anything here on kekkuli.com, so I decided it's due time to give at least a short update, before Jani totally Saddammes me! Also, it will be a short update because the internet connection here in Moshi, Tanzania, although very cheap, is not that relia Sorry. Powercut. Not that reliable that is. Anyway, I am typing this while looking at the beautiful mountain of Kilimanjaro, which with it's 5985 meters above sea level looks in real life much more impressive than in one of those lousy greetings-from-the-safari-having-a-fantastic-time-postcards sent by somebody who actually got to go on a safari. Not me though, I am just bus'ing around! Bruum!! But it's nice to see the mountain as it is, for it might not look the same forever. Hakuna matata!

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has fond memories of those computer games of yesteryear, which fit on a single diskette (remember those?) but still provided hours of fun. Once again, the internet provides for those who crave. Since no one's making a dime out of these games anymore, you'd think they'd be easier to find, but it's actually surprisingly difficult to find a site that has working links to all those great old games. And once again, as a public service, Kekkuli is here to save your valuable time by just giving out the links that took me so long to find (several tens of minutes, at least). So if you ever had a C-64 or Amiga and wondered where you could get this or that game, wonder no more:
Definitely my favorite games as a kid were the Sierra adventure games, so it's only right that the first link would provide many of the old-time classics: Leisuresuit Larry, Police Quest, Space Quest etc. We'll see in our highly scientific poll which series is the best overall. During my quest for Larries, I came across their creator's, Al Lowe's, site, which is a very entertaining site for veteran fans. Still wondering what happened to Larry 4? Wonder no more.
If Sierra wasn't your thing, then I'm pretty sure you'll find at least one of your favorites here. Xenon 2 ring a bell? Or Defender of the Crown? Plenty more where those came from.
And lastly a site that deserves a mention if only because it has the first two Alone in the Darks and Indy and the Last Crusade.

So where am I going to get the time to go through all these great games? I've played through Larry 1 and 2 already, now I have at least Hero's Quest (or Quest for Glory as the official name goes) and a few Police Quests to play. Oh well, I guess I won't have a boring Sunday afternoon in awhile...