Note: The older the entry, the unlikelier outside links are to work.

Nov. 23: Spring is here
By: Tero | Archives

How can I tell? Well, being so south, the southern part of Chile receives a lot of rain in the spring. Also in the summer, in the autumn and in the winter, but that is not the point. Besides rain, there are some incredible sunny days and blue skies, and one can see the flowers beginning to lift their sleepy heads. These are just some of the benefits of living on the southern hemisphere. Of course, besides the cool water-down-the-drain-in-the-opposite-direction effect.

Here is something for all seasons. It has been finally proven that a beer a day keeps the doctor away. But this we already knew of course. Here is the article:

Brussels - It might give you a belly and a hangover, but drinking beer is good for you. Often overlooked for its medicinal properties in favour of red wine, beer has been loved since ancient Greece. "The mood-altering properties were considered supernatural and intoxication thought to be divine," said Antonio Gasbarrini, professor of internal medicine at the Catholic University of Rome. Not only is the golden liquid rich in vitamins, but taken in moderation, it could cut cardiovascular disease and protect against cancer and osteoporosis, according to the findings of a one-day "beer and health" conference attended by industry experts and scientists. It was held in Belgium, which has a proud tradition of brewing frothy, fruity, brown and blonde beers - not least the heady brews produced by Trappist monks. Experts said part of the secret of beer lies in its laxative and sedative properties, which derive from the hops used to flavour the drink. Hops have traditionally been used to treat health problems ranging from stress to menopausal ailments. – Reuters.

Cheers and Kippis!

Nov. 22: Winter is here
By: Jani | Archives

How can I tell? Well, the first sign was the fact that we never made it to Riga, we just floated around in the Gulf of Finland for 24 hours until heading back. But more concretely, the fact that it's been snowing two days straight here in Helsinki sort of gave it away. What's more, today the sun's up for exactly 7 hours, from 8:36 to 15:36. And still another month to go before it starts getting lighter. It's strange how quickly you forget these things: I was away for two winters from Finland and already the winter patterns feel bizarre.

I tried to look for a webcam that would have portrayed the amount of snow that we've gotten, but it's a tough job. For example, this is the Railway Square as seen in the Summer. And this is how it looks like at the moment. No, there isn't anything wrong with your browser: that's the image. If you try any of the other webcams, you get the exact same thing. Except in this one of the ice-hockey stadium, which pretty nicely shows the amount of accumulated snow. Maybe you can make more out of it in daylight. But remember, that's just a 7-hour timeframe, and it's getting shorter...

I like Summer.

Nov. 15: Tunnels
By: Jani | Archives

If things had gone according to plans, I would've been on my way to Riga with my girlfriend at this very moment. However, as they turned out, the wind was too strong for the ferries to cross the Gulf of Finland from Helsinki to Tallinn, so we're still in Helsinki. It looks like we'll have to take one of the sturdier ferries in the evening (the ones that take twice as long).
This was the last straw. Before, I've been somewhat ambiguous about building tunnels underneath major bodies of water, but now I'm convinced it's an excellent idea. I haven't used the Eurotunnel between France and Britain yet, but I'm sure it has saved many a pair's weekend plans by being weather-proof (bombs being a wholly different matter). There's been some crazy talk about a tunnel connecting Helsinki and Tallinn (read this for an in-depth analysis of its viability. And if you read Estonian, let me know what the hell it talks about), and although I think it's still a stupid idea that will never get off the ground (or "under the ground". Get it? Get it?), just because of my ruined travel plans I'm ready to donate to the fund if one exists. Meanwhile, we should start thinking about tunnels connecting Africa to Europe, Asia to America, Japan to Korea... hell, looks like someone already did. Who would've thought tunnels could be so interesting?

The importance of spelling the URL of your search engine correctly...

The required quota-filling Star Wars news of the day: World premiere in USA & Canada: May 16th. Premiere in Finland.... MAY 16th!!! Premiere in Peru.... July 18. Find out when you can start expecting freaks blocking the streets in your town by lining up to buy tickets to see a new Star Wars movie.
Considering that there was a three-month lag with the last movie's premiere in Finland, looks like the campaign for one world-wide release date had some impact. I'm pleased.

Oh, the counter should now be fixed. Hopefully it didn't start from 0 (not that it had gotten very far from 0, but...)

Nov. 14: Patriotic Duties
By: Tero | Archives

This letter from Dilbert-creator Scott Adams is so funny it deserves to be copied into the equally funny Morg site. Anyway, enjoy.

My Patriotic Duty - by Scott Adams
I've been wondering about the best way to offer my patriotic services in this time of global conflict. I don't think I'd be a good candidate for Special Ops. I'd be the one with the wheeled carry-on bag saying, "Hey, guys, I have sand in my shoe! Is anyone else hungry? Can I use my flashlight now?" I'm already donating money to patriotic causes, and I bought some plastic flags made in China, but I felt I needed to do more. Then it hit me. There is one patriotic duty for which I have prepared my entire life: dehumanizing the enemy. In a sense, that's been my full-time job for years. I just need to replace the word "management" with "Taliban." So let's get started. I've been trying to figure out the Taliban's long-term strategy and I think I got it: They're trying to reverse evolution. Their uncontrolled body hair is a good start. Living in caves was an obvious step too. The hard part was eliminating any trace of intelligence in the children. But they've made great strides in that area. Have you seen the video of the Taliban schools where the little kids squat on the floor and rock back and forth chanting all day? No math, no social studies, just rocking and chanting. For PE they use sticks to whack stuffed dummies labeled "Bush" and "Blair." I'm not sure how they know how to spell "Bush" and "Blair." On any given morning they're probably whacking dummies labeled "Tqwft" and "Upxpgt" but it's a good aerobic workout either way. Just for fun, ask yourself what part of the Taliban curriculum could NOT be accomplished by, for example, a monkey: Rocking back and forth? Chanting? Beating a dummy with a stick? Even if a monkey only got a "D" in chanting, he would still graduate with honors from a Taliban school thanks to his high overall grades in rocking and whacking. As I write this, our generals are trying to figure out how to get the Taliban out of their caves. They're running sophisticated war game scenarios and calculating risks and gathering intelligence. I have one word for them: bananas.

I don't want my patriotic words misconstrued as ethnic or religious insults. As soon as the evildoers stop doing evil, I am willing to promote them to full-fledged Induhviduals and insult them on equal footing with everyone else who doesn't read the Dilbert Newsletter. Now that we've dehumanized the Taliban, let's get on to the important work of dehumanizing our bosses, cow-orkers and family members.

If you do not already belong to Dogbert's New Ruling Class, I strongly recommend you join quickly.

And while you're at it, check out this new comic strip creation by Adams called Plop.

Nov. 7: A First One
By: Tero | Archives

Never has this happened before. I mean, never before have I been writing something on MORG exactly at the same time as Jani my brother. Neither have I been such good spirits when he is suffering in the harsch Finnish autumn. Anyway, as a result you will have two entries for today and probably none for like the next three weeks (or two months?). Hopefully Jani will be in a better mood then too (and won't accidentally delete my love poems from this site or do something similarly catastrophical!).

Now here is a riddle for you all. To follow is a list of the top 15 greatest euphemisms from our favorite movie quadrology Star Wars. See if you can guess for what one same thing they are all euphemisms for...

15. Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon
14. Grooming the Wookie
13. Making the Kessel Run
12. Polishing Vader's Helmet
11. Evacuating Tatooine
10. Unsheathing the Meatsaber
9. Releasing the Special Edition
8. Jumping to Delight Speed
7. Communicating with Red Leader One
6. Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo
5. Tinkering With the R2 Unit
4. Manually Targeting the Rebel Base
3. Performing the Jedi Hand Trick
2. Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears
1. Test Firing the Death Star

On a slightly more intellectual note, make sure you sign up to play chess at this site with your buddy. Take a shot at it, and if you manage to find out how the site works and how you can actually play a game on-line, let me know as well.

Love poems? What fucking love poems? I know.

Nov. 7: Writer's bloc
By: Jani | Archives

As many of you might know, I've been waiting to get a cable-modem internet connection for a month now. For some reason it takes the company that provides them A LOT of time to get the thing set up in each and every address separately. When I ordered it at the end of September, I was told that it would take a month. After a month, I called up on the progress and now I was told it could take two more months. Three months to get broadband access? It pisses me off that this is the only company that provides cable-access, which of course explains the slow service: monopolies are not known for their customer friendliness. So all these things I thought I'd be able to start doing at around this time (that WTC-site, some improvements to Morg here and there) will have to wait for a while. A long while. These kind of things take time to do, and I'm not interested in sitting in some university computer lab for hours on end, it's already difficult enough to get these infrequent little updates up and running. So right now I'm in something of a surrendered mood, ready to give up on Morg entirely. I'm sure that'll pass, at least once I get that modem at home (two months? Unfuckingbelievable). And I just accidentally deleted that hit counter on the bottom of the page. Maybe I'll be able to retrieve it somehow, sometime. Crap.

But what better way of cheering up than shooting some Backstreet Boys?

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